Breathing Exercises for Anger: 7 Ways to Calm Your Body Fast

When you get angry, your body's alarm system switches on. Your heart speeds up, your muscles tighten, and you breathe fast and high in your chest. While that alarm is loud, the thinking part of your brain has a harder time doing its job. That's why people say things in anger they would never say calm.

You can't talk your heart into slowing down. But you can slow your breathing, and breathing is one of the few parts of that alarm you control directly.

The key is the out-breath. A slow, long breath out sends your body a "the danger has passed" signal. Research on slow breathing links it to a calmer body and a calmer mood. So in every exercise below, the out-breath is longer than the in-breath, or at least as long.

Two honest limits:

• Breathing doesn't solve the problem that made you angry. It turns down the heat so you can deal with the problem well.
• It works best low on the anger scale. At a 9, breathe and leave the room. See the time-out technique.

In the course: the body's alarm system and why breathing helps are in Lesson 3, Cool Down (4-hour class and up).

1. The long exhale (4 in, 6 out)

Best for: Any moment, any place. Start here if you only learn one.

Time: 1 minute (about 6 breaths).

1. Breathe in through your nose for a count of 4.
2. Breathe out slowly through your mouth or nose for a count of 6.
3. No hold in between. Just in for 4, out for 6.
4. Do six rounds, then check how angry you are, 1 to 10.

If 6 feels long, try 4 in, 5 out. Once it's easy, stretch the out-breath to 8.

2. The double sigh

Best for: A sudden spike. Someone just said something, and you feel heat in your face.

Time: 15–30 seconds.

1. Breathe in through your nose until your lungs feel almost full.
2. Without breathing out, take a second short sip of air through your nose on top of it.
3. Let it all out slowly through your mouth, like a long, quiet sigh.
4. Repeat two or three times.

This is the fastest exercise on the page. It also looks natural. People sigh all the time.

3. Belly breathing

Best for: When your breath is stuck high in your chest and your shoulders are up by your ears. Also good at night.

Time: 2–3 minutes.

1. Sit or lie down. Put one hand on your chest and one on your belly.
2. Breathe in slowly through your nose. Let the belly hand rise. The chest hand should barely move.
3. Breathe out slowly. Feel the belly hand fall.
4. Keep the out-breath a little longer than the in-breath.
5. Do it for 10 breaths or about 2 minutes.

When you're angry, your breathing moves up into your chest. Belly breathing moves it back down.

4. Box breathing

Best for: When you're already upset and your mind is racing. Counting gives it something to do.

Time: About 1 minute (4 rounds).

1. Breathe in for 4.
2. Hold for 4.
3. Breathe out for 4.
4. Hold for 4.

Trace a square in your mind or with a finger on your leg. If the holds make you feel tense, drop them and use exercise 1 instead.

5. 4-7-8 breathing

Best for: When you have a minute alone: before a hard call, in a parked car, before bed after a bad day.

Time: About 1 minute.

1. Breathe out fully through your mouth.
2. Breathe in quietly through your nose for 4.
3. Hold for 7.
4. Breathe out through your mouth for 8, with a soft "whoosh."
5. Repeat 3 or 4 times.

If holding for 7 is too much, count faster or shorten the hold. Short versions of box and 4-7-8 also sit on our anger management techniques page.

6. Count down from 10

Best for: When counting to ten "doesn't work" for you. This version adds the breath.

Time: About 1–2 minutes.

1. Breathe in. On the slow out-breath, say "ten" in your head.
2. Breathe in. On the next out-breath, say "nine."
3. Keep going down to "one."
4. If you lose count, start again at ten. Losing count is normal and still helps.

7. The walking breath

Best for: During a timeout, when sitting still feels impossible.

Time: 5–15 minutes.

1. Walk at an easy pace. Not a sprint. Fast, hard exercise in the middle of a rage tends to keep your body revved up.
2. Breathe in for 3 steps.
3. Breathe out for 4 or 5 steps.
4. Let your arms swing loose. Drop your shoulders.
5. After 5 minutes, check your number. Under a 4? Head back.

In the course: 4-7-8, box breathing and muscle relaxation are in Lesson 3, with a guided "breathe with the circle" exercise. A 3-minute body scan that uses the breath is in Lesson 15, Mindfulness and Daily Self-Care (16-hour class).

Match the exercise to how angry you are and where you are. Not sure of your number? Read about the anger thermometer.

Driving? Keep your eyes open and your hands on the wheel. The long exhale and the double sigh are safe at a red light. Don't close your eyes or hold your breath while driving. If you're at an 8 or higher, pull over somewhere safe first.

A breathing skill you only read about won't show up when you're at a 7. Your body has to know it already. Practice when you're calm, and it will be there when you're not.

1. Day 1: Do the long exhale for 1 minute, three times today. Tie it to things you already do: after brushing your teeth, before lunch, when you park the car.
2. Day 2: Same, and add the double sigh once every time you check your phone for the first hour of the day.
3. Day 3: Try belly breathing for 2 minutes before bed.
4. Day 4: Use one breath exercise at a small annoyance, a 2 or 3: a slow line, a pop-up ad, a dropped call.
5. Day 5: Try box breathing and count down from 10. Keep the one you like more.
6. Day 6: Pick your two favorites. Write them on your anger thermometer next to the numbers where you'll use them.
7. Day 7: Look back. Did any number go down after you breathed, even by one point? Note it in your anger journal or on the free anger log worksheet.

After a week, one minute a day keeps the skill ready.

• Breathing too hard. Big, fast breaths can make you dizzy and more wound up. Slow and quiet beats deep and loud.
• Holding your breath too long. Holds are optional. If they make you tense, skip them.
• Waiting until you're at a 9. Breathing works best in the yellow zone, around a 4 or 5. At a 9, leave first, breathe second.
• Breathing to stuff it down. Breathing isn't pretending you're fine. Calm the body, then deal with the problem, with a calm sentence, a question, or a plan. If you only ever breathe and never speak up, the anger usually comes out later.
• Giving up after one try. A 7 to a 6 still counts. Do another round.

If your anger often comes with racing, replaying thoughts, add mindfulness for anger. When you're calm again, find what set you off with our guide to anger triggers.